Right, I'm just gonna come out and say this. I'm not going to sugar coat it for all you hippies, tree-hugging friends of the earth or vegetarians out there, this is how it is, straight from the heart, me to you, cunt to cunt. I hate recycling. HATE it. There it is, I've said it.
Don't get me wrong, I like the idea. Save the planet, save ourselves, save wildlife and save money (apparently) all good things. Well that part about saving money is a bag of bollocks for starters. A load of old scrote. I had to pay 3000 won the other day to buy special (and I use that term loosely) recycling bin bags. 3 fucking grand!?! And then right, just to add about a kilo of salt to my wound, they gave me a free shopping bag to carry them home in! I'm like "Cunt...What's wrong with putting my rubbish in this free bag?"
Right so...I have to buy recycling bags and if I want to get rid of the plastic bag that the shop gave me, I have to put it in one of these recycling bags. I have to pay to throw things away? And not just some things, every things. Fuck that, shouldn't that service be covered by the tax I paid on the goods? I don't know, I'm no economist, but I am a cheap, Scottish bastard.
The maddest thing is right, over here you can get boxes to carry your shopping home in (so you don't have to take multiple free bags), and those boxes are free right, and then once you get home, unpack your shopping, what do you do with the box? You put it into one of those bags you paid for and throw it out. So, to summarise, I am acquiring something for free and then paying to throw it away?!?
Moving on now to the main reason I hate recycling. The biggest problem I have with recycling is that now that there are so many bins for so many different things that I can't seem to ever find the one that I need. There seems to be a bin for absolutely fucking everything now, EXCEPT what ever it happens to be in my hands. It's getting out of control to the point where there are so many bins lying about that they've become the litter. Making the place look all dirty and that because I'm sure you would agree, there's nothing filthier than a bin. You'd sooner eat your dinner off the street than out of the bin, am I right? Bins are a magnet for tramps and seagulls and the more bins you have, the more tramps and seagulls you'll have. Now that's dirty man.
Bins for plastic, bins for food, bins for electronics, bins for your baby teeth, bins for dead animals, bins for those really big dreams you couldn't fulfill, bins for Cliff Richard LPs, bins for Cliff Richard, bins for etc. etc. You used to get a bollocking in street for littering, and I dig that man, I'm down with the clown on that one sister, that's fine, don't litter. But now right, you're trying to do a good thing, put your litter in a bin but suddenly some cock wearing sandals, rose-tinted sunshades and a ring in his nose shouts:
"Exccuuuuuuuuuse meeeee!!!! You can't put aluminum in that bin you irresponsible thug!!!!!! That bin is for ferrous metals only, Jesus Christ, the Non-ferrous metal bin is the 8th bin on the left. No! That's the shoe bin, it's the one after the bin for blue things. Yes, yes, that's it. And please at least try show a bit more respect for our earth next time you decide to throw something away."
I have one final moan for you today. Seoul is a city that is really jumped up with the environment and is trying to do the right thing as far as our planet is concerned. I got pulled up by one of my colleagues because I left my projector on stand-by while I went to eat my lunch one day. I was only gone for 30 minutes and later on that evening, just as I was about to leave school, he knocks on my door and comes in to lecture me about it.
"Hi Rosse-uh, how aaaah you? Goooood gooood, an your Korea lunch? Ee was good yes? Goooood goooood. You left on you prohector ah lunch time, not gooooood faw environmen, we must not waste enagy, save planet...to..to...togefa, you undasand? Gooooood gooooood, you have gooooooood day yes? Yeeeess, bye bye"
I'm not having a dig right. That guy's English is fucking good compared to most and he is a lovely bloke (a bit weird and he carries about a beating stick all the time but on the whole, he's tip top) but that is how he talks. But what I am trying to say is that me leaving a projector on stand-by for half an hour is hardly going to put a spanner in the works of this country's seemingly non-existent energy saving program. At night almost any street in Seoul makes the Las Vegas strip look like an environmentally cautious fruit machine. There is an enormous amount of energy being wasted in this city with every shop, bar or restaurant having some sort of Pink Floyd-esque neon light show on the side of the building.
It's fucking outrageous the amount of unnecessary energy being wasted trying to lure customers to your business, so the question has to be raised, do they really give a fuck about saving energy or is it all to do with saving the economy? Do they really want to change or do they just want your change?
'Recycle! Save the planet! Buy these bags and save the planet! Save energy! Come little flies, come to the neon glow, bring your wallet! Let's make a better, cleaner environment! Save the earth! Buy stuff!'
I can't get ma nut around it.
It's environMENTAL folks.