Thursday, January 15, 2009

Cheese, Collies and Coldplay

Right so..aye, I cracked a fairly distasteful joke in class today which went down really well with the students, but no so well with the Korean teachers. We were studying food, using flashcards and that and I was rattling through them quickly, questions and that, and then we came to a big block of cheese.

"Whats this?"
"Cheese!!!"
"Which animal likes cheese?"
"Mouse!!!"
"Good, and which animal eats mice?"
"A Cats!!!"
"Okay...who eats cats?"
"Dogs!!!"
"And who eats dogs?...You do!!!"
"Yay!!!! Korean!!!"

The Korean teachers looked at me like I'd farted in the bath and then suddenly started incontantly laughing. They couldn't believe I'd spoken of such a taboo. To be honest, I couldn't believe I'd said it either. I had done this once before with a different group of kids and had just settled for Tiger or Puma or something, but it just flew out, I couldn't stop it. The children were in fits and fucking loving it, they seemed really proud of the fact that their country is pretty much only known for the fact that they dine on man's best friend.

A little back-up. Koreans in general are almost quite ashamed of the fact that they eat dog. The don't like the world to know about it but they still do it. If they really wanted to bring to an end the international identity of South Korea, they could. It's not as if they're starving here and can only eat Collies, they kill and devour just about every other animal on the face of this earth. The don't need to eat dug. But it's their own seedy, little dirty pleasure. The mankiest of filth ridden dirty pleasures. It's like owning two Coldplay albums. Regrettibly owning the first album as a result of the unjustified hype is almost forgivable but going back in for more shows signs of a disability. You know you should think that they're dribbling, little turnip muching toffs, but you think that every track on "A Rush of Blood to the Head" could be a hit single.

Okay, It's not really the same. In fact it's not at all the same but I have issues with Coldplay and that fact that I like them and what I mean is, they love eating dugs, but don't talk about it. I love Coldplay, but I don't talk about it. I could easily have the five Coldplay albums I own pulped, never listen to them again and have a music collection I would fearlessly put on shuffle when I have a girl round, but what would be the soundtrack to my drunken, suicidal cry wank after an unsucessful night on the pull? Nothing suits morbid depression better than "In my Place".


Ross x